Total Recall (2012)

So, another year, another remake. This time it's Paul Verhoeven's Total Recall that's getting the remake/re-imaging/reinvention (delete as applicable) treatment. Verhoeven's film itself was based on a Phillip K. Dick short story, which has now in turn joined the list of recent Hollywood remakes. These remakes, such as The Karate Kid, Halloween, Fright Night, Conan The Barbarian, Piranha 3D, and Footloose, have all achieved varying levels of success over the last few years. That trend doesn't look like stopping any time soon, with new versions of Hellraiser, Dirty Dancing, Logan's Run, Carrie, and The Bodyguard on the horizon. For every Karate Kid there is a Batman Begins. Studios are looking to lace their pockets by playing on people's affections for the films of yesteryear, the films that they grew up with. Each of these films already has an initial, established fan base. Even if these remakes turn out to be horrendous, people's curiosity in the subject will inevitably lead to some people paying out their cash to see what this new offering has to give. So, does the 2012 incarnation of Total Recall have enough to offer so that it makes it both appealing to the original film's audience yet fresh enough to bring in a new audience? That is, indeed, the big money question.

The latest version of Total Recall is helmed by Len Wiseman (Underworld, Underworld: Evolution, and Die Hard 4.0), and features Colin Farrell in the role of Quaid - previously made famous by a certain Governor Schwarzenegger - with supporting roles for Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale amongst others. The premise of the film is that Quaid, a quiet, married everyman that works in a factory, has reoccurring dreams of a strange woman (Biel) and being hunted down by the powers that be. He can't get these dreams out of his head, and, as a result, keeps tossing around the idea of going to what is known as Rekall. Rekall is a place where people go and have memories implanted into their brain, mainly to take themselves away from the mundanity of every day life. They can imagine that they are a professional athlete, a film star, a secret agent; whatever their heart desires. Quaid succumbs to his urges and visits Rekall. The only rule with Rekall is that you can't ask for a memory to be implanted that already exists, for example, you cannot ask for the memory of a mistress to be put in to your head if you already have a mistress. Quaid decides that he wants his Rekall experience to be that of a secret agent. All is running to plan until the Rekall system hits a snag - it recognises that Quaid is already a secret agent. From here on in, modern day enforcement officers break into the Rekall centre, with Quaid freezing in fear on the spot. Out of the blue, something in Quaid takes control and he ends up taking down these agents, leaving him with the question of what's just happened and who he really is.

Amongst all of this, there's an uprising going on. The world as we know it has been split in to two nations; one that was formerly Great Britain, one that is simply known as The Colony. The former Britain is looked upon as the more affluent part of the world, with The Colony and it's inhabitants looked down upon. Those that live in The Colony are trying to gain equality and to be given a fair chance, yet a power mad politician, Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), is looking to wipe out The Colony and to essentially privatise it. Quaid goes on a roller coaster ride in order to discover who he is, what is real, and what is just a memory. Kate Beckinsale plays his wife, whilst Jessica Biel plays the woman he sees in his dreams. Both of these tug at his emotions, trying to persuade Quaid of who he really is. Is he the everyman with a mundane life or is he really an agent of the rebellion, living a life of secrecy unbeknownst to himself.

"This isn't Bruges!"

Wiseman's version of Total Recall is a more grittier, realistic offering when compared to Verhoeven's. Whilst it works on some levels, it falls short on others. A remake is always going to generate comparisons to it's predecessor - this is where some problems come up. The original was a big favourite largely due it's tongue being firmly in it's cheek and it's ability not to take itself too seriously. This charm is lost in Wiseman's film. He decides to play it straight. The cast rise to the challenge, with Farrell a convincing lead - just don't be expecting a direct replicate of Arnie's Quaid here. The film is good for what it is, there's the action scenes you'd expect, there's familiar plot points, there's a strong lead, and there's lots of CGI. The film follows the same pattern as the original, yet changes in it's finale, plus leaves out some characters from the original, choosing to merge their characteristics into other characters. The quips and one liners that were such a staple of Verhoeven's original are left firmly alone with this film. Wiseman's film sets you up for what you'd expect, then differs at the last minute. It's tries to be a little too clever for it's own good at times, not having the charm of the original to pull off what it's attempting.

Just casually taking in the view - good light work, sir

Total Recall (2012) is by no means a bad film. The action flows at a good pace, with the film borrowing at times from the likes of Blade Runner, Tron: Legacy, the Bourne films, Stars Wars: Episode II (mainly for the scenes set in Coruscant), and, of course, the original Total Recall. Whilst by no means being a Batman Begins, this film is certainly not at the level of the recent incarnation of The Karate Kid. It's action packed, it's gritty, it does it's best to keep things as realistic as possible, yet it fails to realise that it comes across as a parody that takes itself a bit too serious for it's own good. I'd recommend Total Recall for a casual watch, giving it a steady 3 out of 5 rating, just don't go into it expecting the humour and tone of the original film.

Marley

Marley is a documentary that looks at the life of one of music's most iconic figures, Bob Marley. Robert Nesta Marley was born in St Ann, Jamaica on 6th February, 1945. This documentary charts his rise from the slums of Jamaica to becoming a musical and political leader; a symbol of peace across the world.

The documentary originally had Martin Scorsese (Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Gangs of New York) attached to direct, only for him to drop out due to scheduling conflicts. Jonathan Demme (The Silence of the Lambs, and various work with The Pretenders and Bruce Springsteen) then took the reigns, only to leave over creative differences. The film finally fell in to the hands of Kevin Macdonald (The Last King of Scotland), who looked to craft the definitive Marley story. Macdonald uses the near 2 1/2 hour running time to chronicle all aspects of Bob's life, for better or for worse. The film doesn't pull any punches, and highlights Marley's flaws as well as his genius. Macdonald really does cover all bases when giving his account of Marley; there's photographs, interviews, concert footage and more. A vast array of the key people in Bob's life are heavily featured here. There are interviews with several members of Bob's band, The Wailers, as well as interviews with various producers, friends and family, with his wife, Rita, given a large amount of screen time. Out of the reported eleven children that were reportedly fathered by Marley, only two are featured here, Ziggy and Cedella, with them giving varying thoughts on their father.

The film starts off by documenting Marley's upbringing, surroundings and family life in the slums of Jamaica's Trench Town. Born to a Jamaican mother and an English father, the young Bob struggled with his identity. Being neither white nor black, he struggled to fit in with his peers and was often left isolated as a result. It was only in his teenage years that Marley found an escape and optimism in music, using it as a tool to express himself and to connect to others. He started to collaborate with what would go on to become known as The Wailers, quickly picking up a following in Jamaica. From here, tours to the UK and the USA were on the horizon to see if the band could spread their message to a wider audience. Of course, this was achieved with a huge amount of success.

Whilst the film tells the well known tale of Bob Marley's musical ascendancy, it is the other parts of the overall picture that offer an insight into the lesser known parts of Bob's life and character. Whilst so often a sign of warmth, hope and celebration across the world, he was often distant and cold to those closest to him. This is discussed by those that truly knew the man, with he himself even describing himself as having the ability to be "as hard as stone yet soft as water". Ziggy Marley, the eldest of Bob's children, describes his father, whilst being loving, as not being overly tender and outward showing with his love for his children. That said, when a man has had eleven children by seven women then I'm sure the love can often run thin. The film makes no attempt to hide Bob's womanising ways, although those interviewed about the subject almost try to justify his actions, with his lawyer describing being faithful to one woman as a Westernised ideology. Regardless of your thoughts on the matter, all events are openly and honestly discussed by those involved. At one point, Bob's wife, Rita, claims that she was happy for Bob to have relationships with other women as it kept him happy and didn't detract from the greater mission - to spread their message as far and wide as possible. Bob's daughter, Cedella, has differing opinions on this, though.

One thing that the film did open my eyes to was the Rastafari movement. Whilst being aware of Rastas and Marley's beliefs, I was relatively unaware of the exact nature of Rastafari and how deep an influence it was on Marley's music. The documentary elaborates on the Rastafari way and their worship of Haile Selassie I, Emperor of Ethiopia, and their belief that he was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. The film delves into the Rastafari faith but without ramming any particular beliefs down the viewers throat. It is fascinating to see the influence that all of this had on Marley, himself somebody that is now revered as an almost mythical, God like figure to millions across the globe. He managed to become a symbol himself, introducing the world to the heavily Rastafari influenced reggae style of music.

Macdonald's documentary is simply the definitive Bob Marley story. It covers the good, the bad, the tragic, the extent of Marley's touch on the world, and all things in between. Bob was an extremely complex individual; driven, conflicted, free thinking, expressive, loyal, caring, selfish, and somebody who showed extreme determination and willing in trying to make his voice heard and to unite people. The film is heartwarming at times, heartbreaking at others. It transitions seamlessly through all of the key influences and events in Bob's life, accompanied by a soundtrack of some of Marley's greatest work. All Bob Marley wanted was to make the world a better place. The film documents his struggle to make this happen, from his early days, living on the poverty line, up until his premature death at the age of 36 in 1981.

One thing that you'll notice about this film is the amount of smiles on show. Literally, every person is happy in giving their thoughts on Bob Marley and his influence on the world around him. Even during the moments that put Marley in a less than favourable light, the people being interviewed still give off a radiancy whilst giving their anecdotes. Those who watch this will struggle not to do the same. Whether you're a Bob Marley fan or not, this is a brilliant, informative, no holds barred, definitive look at an artist that transcended music and became a symbol of positivity for all people. I'd give Marley 4 guitar strums out of 5.

God Bless America

God Bless America is the latest film from the mind of Bobcat Goldthwait (best known by a generation for playing Zed in the Police Academy series). Since stepping away from acting and the stage, Goldthwait has sporadically mixed his directorial work between the big and small screens. Using his experience as a stand up comic, Goldthwait's writing style is best described as darkly humourous, with this latest offering easily labelled as a black comedy. The main focus of the story here is Frank (Joel Murray of Hatchet fame) and his realisation that America is falling to pieces around him. The country is obsessed with reality TV shows, objectifying children, making celebrities out of people with no talent, glamourising the purported perfect image that everyone should ascertain to, and the citizens are generally just plain rude, inconsiderate and materialistic. Frank dreams of cleansing the nation, mainly shown through fantasies he has of murdering co-workers, killing ignorant neighbours and the like. It's only when he suffers a number of setbacks in his life that he decides to turn these fantasies into reality.

Frank has a sudden implosion when he loses his job, his young daughter doesn't want to visit him, and he is diagnosed with a terminal tumour. He finds himself alone, depressed with the world around him, and sat in front of a television showing a 16 year old girl having a hissy fit because her father bought her the wrong sports car. It is then that he decides to embark on his cleansing mission, starting with the 16 year old girl on his TV screen. He sets off across country to kill her, upon which time he stumbles across another 16 year old by the name of Roxy (the excellent Tara Lynne Barr), who sees what he is doing, shares the majority of his opinions, and wants to become the Robin to his Batman. Frank's initial plan is to kill the 16 year old from the TV show, then to take his own life. Roxy persuades him that there are more people out there that deserve to be killed, and that by killing himself he would be killing the wrong person. So it is, they set off on the task in hand - to rid America of those who exploit others, those that give celebrity status to those with minimal talent, to those that have an unfounded sense of entitlement, to those that bully the less fortunate, to those that are just simply rude and not very pleasant.

Frank doing his best Kurt Cobain impression *Note: Courtney Love just out of shot

I picked up this DVD with thoughts of Bonnie & Clyde, Kick Ass, Hobo With a Shotgun and Natural Born Killers in mind. Whilst not outright copying any of the aforementioned films, it does borrow from each one of them at times. The partners in crime, cross country murder spree echoes Bonnie & Clyde and Natural Born Killers. The everyman cleaning up society by any means necessary screams Hobo With a Shotgun, whilst the foul mouthed teenage girl showing no remorse in merciless killings is easily relatable to Kick Ass' Hit Girl. All of these aspects blend together to form a snappy, witty, informative, satirical look at what today's world has become.

The McDonalds' drive-thru forgot her extra fries

God Bless America is by no means just a movie with a lot of bloodshed, although the blood is free flowing. The film has a very dry, dark underbelly to it. It points the finger firmly at what modern society has become; the fact that it is near impossible to have a conversation with somebody without it being interrupted by a text message, that it is unheard of to visit the cinema without your viewing experience being disturbed by others, the fact that children throw a temper tantrum because they've been bought a Blackberry instead of an iPhone. The film highlights the problems incurred when society allows a show such as The X Factor to be it's moral compass, to give an example of what is acceptable and appropriate in today's world. Frank and Roxy set out to write the wrongs of the new generation, a generation that seemingly lacks accountability for it's actions. The film also highlights the hate mongering caused by the likes of propaganda feeding talk shows and Fred Phelps style cults.

Not quite the duet that The X Factor expected

The film flies along at a rapid pace, lasting approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes. Frank is established on edge from the get go, and Roxy comes along to justify his actions. She's his cheerleader, urging him to go through with his deepest desires, begging him to let her assist him. They strike up a kinship, with Frank becoming an almost fatherly figure during some of the more tender moments of the film. Golthwait manages to find tenderness in the horrific and brutal events of the film, yet still doesn't detract from the overall tone. The frantic, hate fueled first act slows down towards the middle of the film, fleshing out the relationship between it's two leads, before then flying full force into it's final act. The chemistry of the main characters is undeniable, with the smart, observational-yet-accurate dialogue helping the film flow fantastically. Add to this an expertly pieced together soundtrack featuring the likes of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Kinks, Betty Hutton, and Alice Cooper, and the mood is set perfectly for what is a true blast of a ride.

I can't recommend this film enough, and it could be the hidden gem of the year so far. Whatever side of the fence you're on, you won't be able to deny the points made in the film. Society is eating itself, ridiculing itself, hating itself. Frank is a vessel for Bobcat Goldthwait, and surely a generation of others, to vent their feelings on the vitriol that is spewed from televisions sets, the need to put people on a pedestal for no reason, the need to live up to a supposed image, the act of being rude because you don't know any better. Goldthwait conjures up a fantastic, satirical piece of work that shows what we have become and what we are doing to ourselves. Whilst the likes of The Dark Knight Rises and The Avengers might take the big box offices this year, receive the big promotional pushes and garner mass audiences around the globe, I urge you to give this film a chance; you won't be disappointed. I give God Bless America a fully flushed out 5 out of 5.

The Haunting of Whaley House

The Haunting of Whaley House is set up as an atmospheric, tense supernatural tale. The story focuses on the house referenced in the title. The Whaley House is a real building, located in San Diego. It was home to Thomas Whaley and several generations of his family. The house is apparently haunted by the Whaley family and has been recognised officially by the US Commerce Department as one of only two haunted houses in California, and the most haunted house in the whole of the USA. All in all, it sounds like a pretty freaky place then.

I'm pretty sure this cover borrows just a tad from  Identity

The film's opening scene introduces you to the house, courtesy of a few curious teens. The story quickly turns it's attention to the ghostly tours that guests can go on during the day, focusing on a young member of staff, Penny (played by the effortlessly stunning Stephanie Greco). Penny is a non believer of all things that go bump in the night. She works as a tour guide at the property, regaling visitors with the history of the house and it's former inhabitants, so that she can pay her way through medical school. Whilst carrying out one of her routine tours, a visitor gets freaked out and suddenly has a seizure. The house is promptly closed up for the day, with Penny's seasoned co-worker, Bethany (played by genre veteran, Lynn Lowry - she of Shivers, Cat People, and The Crazies fame), giving her some sage advice on respecting the house and the spirits that rest within. We then swiftly cut to later that day, with Penny, her boyfriend, and three of her friends discussing the spooky, old house. One of her friends, Craig (Graham Denman), suggests that the friends all spend the night at the property, seeing it as a perk of Penny's job. Of course, as ever the case with films of this ilk, they end up persuading Penny to get them access to the house. Craig also brings along his 'cousin', who just happens to have all of the usual ghost hunting weapons of choice, such as EVP recorders, digital temperature readers, electricity field meters, yada, yada, yada. Craig's cousin happens to also bring along a television psychic, Keith Drummond (Howard McNair).  From here on in, the film gets to the meat of it's story.

The actual Whaley House

Within a matter of minutes, the strange noises start and the film heads in the direction you'd expect. The cast are mainly forgettable, the scares predictable. One major gripe of mine is the score, particularly when in relation to the scares. The score seems to be slapping you in the face, letting you know when you should be scared. Discreet and subtle, it is not. Whilst the characters are forgettable, the acting is fairly solid across the board, barring McNair's Derek Acorah style psychic. His performance is woeful. His staggered, unstructured delivery is painful to watch and is an instant turn off. I genuinely cannot think of a worse performance in recent memory, not even so bad it's good, not even so bad it's funny - just simply bad. So simply bad it's as simply bad as Simply Red. That's not where the shortcomings end though, unfortunately. The editing of the piece is also all over the place, lacking continuity massively at times, the cuts just badly timed and taking any emotion away from the film. As with the score, the spirits also seem a little overdone and a bit too loud and proud. They're shown often and firmly in sight of the viewer. There's no suspenseful reveals, no vaguely shot ghostly goings on. The spirits are just there, as clear as the victims of the piece, and rammed down your throat.

Make a note, this is one of the only times I'll ever say the use of boobs was totally unwarranted

Whilst it seems I'm completely down on the film, it wasn't without it's charms. As mentioned above, the acting is generally solid across the board, just McNair's performance standing out a mile for it's sheer awfulness. The rest of the actors fill their roles well, it's just that most of the characters are instantly forgettable. The shooting of the film is nicely done, with the colour scheme nicely played throughout - it's just let down by the editing. One big plus for me, is, being a big Shivers fan, it's always nice to see Lynn Lowry make an appearance on the big or small screen. She's had several hiatuses over the years, but I always keep an eye out for her as Shivers has stuck with me since I first saw it way back when.

Always a treat to see Lynn Lowry

All in all, the film will have a certain appeal to fans of the genre; to the casual fan, not so much so. The passing fan will likely just see this as a generic horror piece, predictable scares, bland cast, the usual haunted house formula. Fans of horror will find some redeeming features in the film, and it does have several, but it's not going to set the world alight. I'd give The Haunting of Whaley House a firm 2 spooks out of 5.

Ted

Let me first start off by saying, despite the cute, cuddly teddy bear lead, this is not a film to take the kids to. Ted is a crass, vulgar, very adult comedy from Seth MacFarlane, the creative mind behind Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show and Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy. If you've ever seen any of the aforementioned shows then you know his style of humour is very adult and often oversteps the mark with a lot of people. Ted is no different.

The ever charming star of the film

The basic premise is that John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg - The Fighter, The Departed, Three Kings and, of course, Boogie Nights) receives a teddy bear for Christmas as an 8 year old. The younger version of Wahlberg's John isn't very good with other kids, and finds himself isolated and in need of a best buddy. One night he makes a wish for his teddy bear, who he has creatively called Ted (played by MacFarlane himself), to come to life and be his best friend for life. Miraculously, when John wakes up in the morning, his wish has come true. Ted is now a walking, taking, breathing teddy bear. From here on, Ted becomes a celebrity and gains a following, even appearing on the Johnny Carson Show. Fast forward 27 years later and the best buddies are now all grown up and living in an apartment with John's girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis - Black Swan, Family Guy, Max Payne and, of course, American Psycho 2). John and Lori's 4 year anniversary is looming on the horizon, giving John the worry that she's going to expect something big, something wedding ring big. Whilst they're more than happy in their relationship, she's at the point where she's looking for her 35 year old partner of 4 years to put down his teddy bear and for them to get on with the more serious, settling down type stuff; largely prompted by a stripper, brought back by Ted, having a 'number two' on their living room floor. This is where Marky Mark has to bite the bullet and have the 'you need to move out' conversation with his best friend of 27 years.

The eternal question - which one farted?

And so it goes, Ted understands John's position and moves out to his own apartment and gets himself his first job, working as a check out attendant at a local store. There's some laughs along the way, most notably some brilliant responses to questions asked in Ted's job interview (mentally noted, ready to use in my next interview). The film pans out much as you'd expect, apart from Ted having a creepy fan, played by the always fun Giovanni Ribisi, that is offering to buy Ted as a toy for his young son. Ribisi's character has been obsessed with Ted since he was a child and will seemingly not take no for an answer.

As always with MacFarlane's work, there's lots of references thrown in for people of a certain generation; that generation being those that experienced their childhood in the '80's. There's nods and winks to the likes of Star Wars, TJ Hooker, Indiana Jones, Cabbage Patch Kids, Teddy Ruxpin, Cheers, Top Gun, Nintendo's NES, lots and lots of shout outs to Flash Gordon (including a cameo by the man himself, Sam J Jones), and many more. There's even a great scene with John and Ted lined up, in fancy dress, ready to watch Stars Wars: The Phantom Menace. Anybody of a certain age will be fully aware of the anticipation felt in the build up to that movie... and we all know what happened next.

Words fail me...

The film follows a relatively predictable path, but at the same time you often find yourself genuinely caring for a stuffed toy, albeit a talking, swearing, drinking, prostitute-liking toy. The characters are played out well, with Wahlberg again showing that he can do comedy when given the right material, and Kunis carefully walking the line between demanding, realistic, sympathetic and appreciative. The ending pulls on the heartstrings and there's lots of feel good moments throughout the film, in typical MacFarlane style - I'm just a little surprised that he didn't throw any show tunes or major dance numbers in there. That said, for the Boogie Nights nerd in me, there was a Wahlberg dance scene, not quite harking back to his Dirk Diggler or Marky Mark days though.

Sadly the dance scene didn't quite live up to Dirk Diggler standard

There is a chance that this film will offend certain people, but if you're familiar with MacFarlane's previous work, and are a fan, then chances are you will be firmly in your comfort zone when the expletives begin to fly (and fly they do) and the tone sharply begins to lower. I was a little surprised that the film only received a 15 rating, as some of the humour is definitely of an 18 certificate nature, but it is what it is. If you like MacFarlane's humour and tone then this is definitely for you and I'd give it a firm 4 cursing bears out of 5.

The Shrine

The Shrine is a film that has been floating around for a few years now but only got a UK release in February of this year. The basic premise is that an American tourist, Eric Taylor, goes missing whilst travelling across Europe, Poland to be precise, and nobody knows what has happened to him. The Polish police aren't very helpful and the American police are too busy to spare the man power to look into the case in any depth. The case is picked up by a reporter back in Eric's hometown. The opening few scenes suggest that the reporter, Carmen (Cindy Sampson), is in the middle of a career slump and needs a big story to help her get 'back in the game'. She goes to her boss with the story but he tells her to leave it alone and to focus on a local story involving bees. Being the brash, aggressive, 'eyes on the prize' type, Carmen completely ignores her boss. This is merely one of numerous mistakes that she makes throughout the film. It's established early on in the film that Carmen has a slightly strained relationship with her boyfriend, Marcus (Smallville's very own Jimmy Olsen, Aaron Ashmore - not to be confused with X-Men's Iceman, Shawn Ashmore). She doesn't seem to have time for him, acts on a whim and seems to be mainly focused on whatever benefits her.

That stain's gonna be a bitch to get out - where's the Vanish?

After meeting Eric's mother, Carmen borrows Eric's diary - his luggage having been returned home - and finds out his last recorded steps. This leads to a small, primitive Polish town that literally has a dark cloud hanging over it. The locals are depicted as basic, aggressive, secretive and wary of 'outsiders'. It's established that only a few of the locals, mainly the children, speak English. It's also established that the villagers aren't afraid of making visitors aware that they are not welcome. Carmen has managed to convince Marcus, conveniently a photographer, and Sara, an intern at the newspaper, to fly to Poland with her to get the real story on what happened to Eric. Following Eric's last steps, the group come across a large cloud that constantly floats above the woods. This is basically the last thing Eric saw, meaning that they go into the woods for a further inspection. The cloud is thick, dark and gives no visibility. Marcus holds back from going into the cloud, whereas the girls let their curiosity get the better of them and both go in, one by one, for a closer look. Once inside the cloud, the girls can see nothing at all until they individually come across a creepy looking statue. Sara is the first to find her way out of the cloud, followed by Carmen. The unhappy locals then turn up and a chase ensues. The film then gets into familiar territory, with the protagonists getting captured and tortured. The film then takes a largely refreshing change of pace and tone, with the real story becoming clear.

Carmen, Marcus and Sara - the 'victims'

I wasn't expecting much from The Shrine, but I was pleasantly surprised. Whilst it's not going to change the face of the horror genre, it is great little feature. It has some familiar plot points and some familiar characters but it manages to do something different with them than so many other films do. There's a sense of predictability during the most part of the film, then it changes things up and shows influences from the likes of The Wicker Man, The Exorcist and Sam Raimi. I was expecting the usual, standard, throwaway horror. Instead I got a genuinely freaky film with some standout moments. The one big gripe I did have was with the main lead, Carmen. She comes across as obnoxious, selfish, annoying, uncaring and insincere - not the traits I'd normally look for to get sympathy and concern for the supposed victim of the piece. Still, there's Aaron Ashmore to cheer for, and he does a good job as the more logical, rational and 'everyman' type. The rest of the characters are fine for what they are, with a nice appearance from Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer's Trevor Matthews as one of the villagers. The Polish spoken seems a little off to me, but I'm no expert in that and it's likely down to the fact that most of the villagers aren't actually played by Polish actors.

All in all, I'd say to give this film a chance if you're at a loose end one night. You just might be surprised by the not so formulaic twists and turns.

Not winning...

Documenting The Grey Man

The first thing that grabbed me about this film, as with so many films of a similar nature, was the DVD cover art. It depicted a young girl, back arched, floating above her bed. It was an instantly creepy image and definitely piqued my interest. Maybe I'm just a sucker that gets easily drawn in by shock imagery.

Wouldn't fancy my chances against her in a limbo competition

The basic premise surrounds a South Carolina legend called The Grey Man. The Grey Man is a spirit that appears on the beach to warn the locals when a hurricane is on it's way - think Michael Fish but without the 'tache and glasses. As well as haunting the beaches, a local family claim that he haunts their family home. The film starts off with a documentary crew discussing The Grey Man. They are just a normal group of filmmakers but decide that they are going to pose as ghost hunters and investigate the spooky goings on. They plan to film their documentary in two parts; one where they purposely stage haunted events and one where they reveal the tricks they used to convince people of the ghostly occurences. They go in with the logic that the legend of The Grey Man is a myth, merely an urban legend. They want to expose how easy it is for the ghost hunters of the world to fake spooky goings on. The film is shot in the handheld, found footage style of predecessors such as The Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity, Cloverfield, Pamela & Tommy Lee, et al, with the cameras being on throughout the entirity of the teams' adventure.

The film starts slow, with the crew interviewing a few locals about The Grey Man. From there they move on to the house in question, a large, isolated, rural property way out in the sticks. Here you get introduced to the family, the Simms', that are apparently haunted by the spirit. There's the concerned and open wife, there's the private, non-believing, distant husband, and then there's the slightly creepy daughter. The house also has a Scooby Doo-esque caretaker type character. I was just waiting for Shaggy to try and remove the caretaker's 'mask', only for it to be real, Scooby to give out a "Rikes!" and then hiliarty to ensue. Sadly this was not the case.

"G-g-g-g-ghost!"

As the crew are having sit down interviews with the family members and setting up cameras across the house, it becomes apparent that all is not as fake as they had anticipated. The film teases the tension well at times, not giving away too much too soon. This backfires though. The film only runs for just over an hour - I think 1 hour 4 minutes is the official running times, credits and all. That's a ridiculously short length for a feature film. Even worse is that the first real scares start to come at about the 40 minute mark, leaving just the final 20 minutes of the film for the spookiness to make itself known. The initial shock moments work relatively well, it's just the big pay off that disappoints. The final part of the film, the big finale, the part that everything thus far has been hinting at just falls flat on it's face. It leaves you shrugging your shoulders and mumbling "meh". It's just a throwaway, nothing ending. You know what's coming, it comes, it doesn't get entirely explained why, and then it's a case of 'la FIN!' and done.

The crew planning their hoax haunting

The general idea of the film had a lot of potential. The slow build up throughout the film works well, the tone is set, the action isn't rushed, the scares don't happen right off the bat... then the last 20 minutes just crams everything together. I can't even call it a case of pacing problems as so much as it's more the length of the film that has me scratching my head. The first 40 minutes would work fine if it was a 90 minute film. The fact that it's a 64 minute film just throws everything off. Another big flaw with the film is the acting. The majority of the delivery is horrendous. It can get away with this at times, especially when the crew involved are essentially playing the roles of over the top ghost hunter types. It's at the other times where the poor levels of acting stand out, even from the opening scene of the film.

If you're a fan of the recent found footage style film then you may want to give this a try. One of the plus points is that at least it is short, with you being able to get through it in basically an hour. When the scares do come then a few of them work well, the more subtle ones. It's when the supposed 'big scares' happen that you just don't get a sense of terror. It just feels inflated, over the top and poorly acted. As I've said though, and as a self confessed horror geek, this may be worth a watch for some genre fans. Lord knows I happily sit through films that I'm fully aware may be seen as trash by most, and even at times by myself. It's almost par for the course of being a horror fan.

Michael Fish - Could this be The Grey Man?

The Pact

So, to follow up on Wednesday's viewing of Jaws, the plan was to see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer. The powers that be were against me yesterday, so instead I ended up watching The Pact. For those of you that haven't seen the trailer, it's basically a slightly spooky tale that mainly revolves around a house and the things that went on at said abode.

Even the spirits can't decide whether it's worth watching this flick

The general gist is that a mother has died and her daughters go back to the area for the funeral. I guess you could say that they set out to use the deceased mother's house as a base of sorts. The film starts off with one of the sisters, Nicole, already at the house, passing time and having a bit of a 'tense' conversation with the other sister via the marvel of a telephonic device. Nicole then proceeds to have a conversation with her daughter via some form of Skye device. This is when you get the first sense of the spooky, as the young daughter on the other end of the Skype display asks her mother who the person there with her is. The big surprise here is that the mother is alone. Slightly creeped out, she proceeds to have a little look around the small house. Cut to the other sister, Annie, looking like a cross between Melissa George and Patsy Kensit, arriving a few days later, on the day of the funeral, only to find that Nicole has gone missing. It's touched on that Nicole has a past history of drug abuse and going missing for days, so the cynical Annie doesn't think too much of her sister being missing. That is until she wakes up in the middle of the night to find her cousin has gone missing from the house, then has a moment where she is literally dragged around the house by an unseen entity. Safe to say, she escapes the house and takes her small niece with her as she flees to the police station.

Casper Von Dien doing his best Tony Stark impression

Upon arriving at the police station she's interviewed by Starship Troopers' very own Casper Von Dien (also of the so-bad-it's-good-but-still-just-actually-rather-bad Dracula 3000). He's interested in the disappearance of Annie's sister and cousin, but Annie does the 'it wasn't me, Guv'nor, it was them pesky spirits' routine. Casper's cop doesn't really believe her but decides, as she's got pert, bouncy breasts, to at least check out the house in question. When the two of them enter the house, all is relatively normal until they come across a covered up door that Annie never knew existed. Casper takes some pictures during this and that's about it. Annie goes off to stay in a Motel, where she has some funky dreams. All of this leads to Annie bringing a blind psychic to the house. This is when the film starts to get into a bit more of the supernatural horror vibe that's promised in the trailer. From then on in there's a few twists and turns, as well as a few choice scares.

The film as a whole isn't horrendous, although it does seem to fall flat at the times when it looks like it's about to deliver the goods. Just as the film starts to get going, it seems to stagnate and then flip things in another direction. Whilst this can often work in a film's favour, with The Pact it does it at the wrong time. It tends to be going down the right avenues but then has a change of heart, leaving you with a slightly subdued response. The pacing of the film also feels a little off. It drags out parts of the story that don't need dragging out, yet skims over other plot points that could easily be elaborated on. At times the film hints at past trauma experienced by the two sisters at the hands of their mother, yet you never really get a clear cut answer to this. It's not even overly implied as to what has gone on previously. When the end does finally come, you're left with a feeling that the whole story covered could have easily have been done in about 30 minutes less running time. The film isn't overly long, running at just over 90 minutes, but the actual parts of the story that are covered don't necessitate 90+ minutes.

The poor man's equivalent to being frozen in carbonite

To sum up, the film is worth a watch and it does have it's charms, just don't go into it expecting anything particularly groundbreaking. I left the film with a sense of unfulfilled potential, a sense of what could have been. There's some good scares, there's some tense moment, there's Casper Von Dien and there's some bouncing bosoms. It just feels like there could have been so much more.

Jaws: 37 Years Young

Yes, you read that correctly - Jaws is 37 years old today. The film was originally released on 20th June, 1975 and introduced the concept of the Summer Blockbuster. Jaws was a phenomenon and led to studios releasing their marque films throughout the Summer months, exploiting the potential for big crowds and maximising the intake of those ever important dollars. 37 is a strange anniversary to be celebrating with a cinema release, I hear you say... and correct, you would be. As a bit of a Jaws geek, over the years my collection has added various 'special' editions, such as the 25th and 30th anniversary DVDs that came out in 2000 and 2005 respectively. The reason for this limited period cinema re-release is down to Universal celebrating their 100 year anniversary. As a result of this, amongst other things, they are restoring and remastering 13 of their all time classic films from 35mm. Jaws happens to be one of these beauties, along with All Quiet on the Western Front (1930), Dracula (1931), the Spanish language version of Dracula (1931), Frankenstein (1931), The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), Buck Privates (1941), Pillow Talk (1959), To Kill a Mockingbird (1962), The Birds (1963), The Sting (1973), Out of Africa (1985) and Schindler's List (1993). Quite the impressive collection, I'm sure you'll agree.

Universal is also getting a shiny, new logo

Anyways, enough about Universal's centennial, let's get on to the, effectively, new print of Spielberg's classic. Firstly, regardless of the new print or not, it was just impressive to finally see Jaws on the big screen. It opened up more for you to see, little bits of background scenery that you may have missed on previous watches. As the film that is responsible for my irrational fear of sharks (thanks to a viewing as a 4 year old I don't like flying - long story... ) it was finally nice to be able to face the cinematic beast on the big screen. I'll be honest, when the opening credits rolled and you have the shark's point of view crawl through weeds, sand and murky water, I had goosebumps. There was a sense of excitement, a sense of anticipation and, dare I say it, still a sense of fear and deep lying dread even though I've watched the film literally 100 or more times over the years. Even though every scene had been etched into memory, every scare remembered, every classic line been quoted in day-to-day conversation by myself (yep, I'm one of 'those' guys), the film still had a freshness about it. The film itself had a lot more light in it during certain scenes. There was a lot more detail visible, slightly crisper even too. This made Murray Hamilton's Mayor Vaughan's suits even more impressive - the one with the anchors on is still my favourite though - and it highlighted the tone of the blistering sun on some of the longer beach shots. As well as the actual picture change, it was fantastic to hear the audio piped through a cinema system. The waves lapping had a softness to them, yet warned the viewer of the potential danger that could arrive at any time. The scene that benefited the best in an audio sense is the scene where Quint turns up to offer her services in hunting down the shark. He makes his entrance to the film by scratching his nails down a chalk board, scratching through your soul as he does it. It instantly causes unease and is a great way to introduce a truly great character.

Brody: "You do realise that anchors were soooo last season?!?!"

I kind of feel like I'm missing out completely on the plot here, but does the plot of Jaws really need explaining? It's a film that's been around for 37 years; a film that has caused more people to be afraid of the water than Michael Barrymore has of swimming pools. It introduced a whole generation, and generations since then, to the sensation of primal fear, of being out of your comfort zone, of being in an environment where you have no control, where you are at the mercy of a monster and of the perfectly engineered killing machine. Simply put, for a lot of people it was the first film to completely scare the shit out of them. I'm a happily proud member of that group. Whether the scares would be quite as extreme for a new generation of film goers that have been reared on shoddy CGI and over indulged 3D is another matter.

Simply one of the most recognisible film posters of all time

As is the case with many past films the are considered horror classics, they sometimes fail to live up to the hype if watched as a first viewing in current day. Sure, to me Jaws is fantastic in every way. The selling of the story to me, the anticipation and fear generated, is all in the build up. Jaws is the perfect example of how to engage a viewer's attention with the old adage of 'less is more'. If the shark was thrown out there - yes, at the chance of risking spoilers, Jaws is about a giant, murderous, blood thirsty shark intent on a 4th July feeding frenzy on a small island off of New York - from the get go, from the opening scene, then the film would've ran the risk of being laughed out of the cinema. Spielberg and those involved realised this and covered up their weakness, their shark, their 'floating turd', as Spielberg called it. The shark was the major flaw in the movie, so why not keep it covered up as much as possible? Sensible logic. To me the shark is fine, it is what it is. I've grown up with Bruce. He was the imaginary monster that swam around my bed when I'd go to sleep, he was the reason why I would swim ridiculously fast in primary school swimming lessons, he's the reason why now, even to this day at 30 years of age, I won't go past mid-shin height in the ocean. Bruce is one nasty bastard! The problem is that a lot of the newer generation of film fans are used to instant gratification, instant reveal. They literally get their 'money shot' within the opening scene at times. My worry is that some people that are used to seeing 'money shots' in every scene may not be able to sit through the slow burn, delicate story telling and character building behemoth that is Jaws, especially to then be rewarded with a plastic monstrosity that is as fear inducing as a limp dick. This was highlighted in the fact that a couple of people walked out (yes, WALKED OUT... OF JAWS!!!!) with about 25 minutes of the film left during tonight's viewing. I haven't seen anybody walk out of a film in many a moon (and I watch some utter tripe), so it blew my mind that somebody would ever have the thought process required to get up and just stroll on out of one of cinema's all time masterclasses. This is likely the bit where I warble into a 'youth of today...' rant. I'll stop it there though.

To conclude, I'm one happy, happy camper tonight. I've finally been able to see a film on the big screen that has frightened me, made me laugh, made me smile and made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin (and
not to mention water) from a very young age. Jaws is a film that constantly rocks up in my conversation when I start discussing my favourite films or top 5's, etc. The cast is impeccable, all perfect in their roles. As well as the three leads of Scheider, Shaw and Dreyfuss, much praise has to go to Lorraine Gary in her portrayal of Ellen Brody - she gives a great emotional base to the film and the events that unfold in the first two acts of the film. To see this on the big screen, with a vibrant, polished colour was simply a treat. Sorry if there's not much of a plot synopsis covered in this blog, but I feel that Jaws is past that point now. Even if people haven't seen Jaws, they at least know the general gist of what it's about. What it is about to me is a film that I could watch over and over again yet still not get bored of. For every sense of dread it brings about, it brings an equal amount of warmth with it in a scene such as Chief Brody in turmoil at his dinner table, only to find solace in the simple acts of his son, Michael. These heart warming moments add a perfect level of depth and sincerity to the characters and to the film as a whole.

And yes, the Ben Gardener head scene still produces the biggest scare of the film and makes you jump in your seat even though you know it's coming.

"Peekaboo!"

Piranha 3DD - Twice the terror, double the D's

The title and the tag line pretty much tells you all you need to know about this film. Yes, it's about piranhas. Yes, there's lots of boobs on show. Is it actually any good? It depends on what you want from a film like this.

I shit you not, these are the actual lifeguards in the film

If you go into this expecting some sort of Jaws type classic fish tale then you'll be sadly disappointed. I'm guessing that the majority of people who are interested in this film will have seen, or at least be familiar with, Piranha 3D. If that is the case then you'll know exactly what to expect from this film. It's a straightforward sequel that carries on in exactly the same vein as it's predecessor. There's gore, there's breasts (and lots of them) and there's enough cheese to give Mickey Mouse an erection. The good thing is that the film knows exactly what it is, who it's target market is and is unashamed in what it's main attractions are. The film doesn't pretend to be something else; it's an over the top, bloody, cringe worthy, simple film that pushes it's boobs together at you like a bad low rent porn star that you could imagine Ron Jeremy decimating. If that type of film is up your alley then this is for you.

The basic premise of the film is that the hungry, hungry fishies from the first film are back... and this time they're heading towards a water park. The park is part owned by David Koechner (best known as Champ Kind in Anchorman and numerous other parts) and his step daughter, played by Danielle Panabaker (of Friday 13th and The Crazies updated remakes fame). The step father character is the money hound that is looking to open the water park purely to make a quick buck, regardless of safety fears. The step daughter is on the flip side, cautious of any and all risks that come with the park, and the one who becomes aware of the possible piranha threat.

"Honestly, I've not followed through, I swear."

The piranhas themselves are bigger and badder in this one. Christopher Lloyd (yep, he's back) ascertains that the deadly fish are now able to break through steel due to sheer persistence and appetite - that's some hungry fish. He demonstrates this by tempting a piranha with a frog. Poor Kermit.

The piranhas are attracted by activity in the water, meaning that a water park that is sourced directly, and illegally, from a lake is most definitely on their radar. Throw in a cast of typical teens - the jock, the geek, the virgin, the rampant one, the unassuming hero and several generic, faceless others - and you have your film. Well, that and a few, dare I say it, big cameos from Gary Busey, Ving Rhames and David Hasselhoff. Gary Busey takes on a similar role to Richard Dreyfuss' in the previous film, that of the opening scene fodder. Ving Rhames picks up his role from Piranha 3D despite being seemingly turned to fish food in that - this time with his legs missing. Then there's The Hoff. The Hoff plays, well, The Hoff. He plays a parody of himself, being The Hoff and scraping the barrel for a few dollars by being the 'special guest' at the water park, The Big Wet's, grand opening. There's a lot of Hoff magic throughout the film and he plays the drunken, past it, self obsessed ladies man to perfection. If anyone's seen his drunken burger eating antics or heard about his 25 year younger girlfriends then you'll know what I mean. If not then I suggest you become acquainted with Google and YouTube. In fact, just search for 'The Hoff Burger' on any of the aforementioned sites. No need to thank me - I'm good like that.

"Did somebody say my Big Mac's arrived?"

Unsurprisingly, the savage fish make their way into the water park and reek havoc on anyone that gets in their way, be it man, woman or child. Whilst the action itself is direct, to the point and gorey, it somehow feels a little lacking in it's longevity. The film itself runs at just over 1 hour and 20 minutes, with the build up being a lot longer than the pay off. The first act focuses on introducing the characters, then the film starts to flesh out the piranha mythos with the cast becoming aware of the possible threat and seeking advice from crazy old Christopher Lloyd. The third and final act arrives as expected, it just falls a little... flat. The actual action itself isn't the problem, with people being gnawed at left, right, centre and on the Cooch-Cam (watch the film to find out what this is - it mainly involves close ups of various women's 'love tunnels'). The problem is that when the big attack on the water park arrives it's just too short. Obviously there's the whole logical point to get over, as in if the fish are in the pool parts of the water park then just get out of the water. In fairness, a lot of people do this and that partially adds to the short attack time. Rational thinking in a horror film, who'd have thunk it?! Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of illogical acts throughout the majority of the film - including one poor soul topping Jerry O'Connell's mauled penis from the first film. All I'm saying is that there's a scene that will have any man, or overly sensitive woman for that matter, crossing their legs and giving the slightest wince of pain. I'm still haunted by flashbacks now and I saw the film on opening night last week.

All in all the film is going to attract the audience that this kind of films is always going to attract. If you like your films to have a major dose of trashy, a smidgen of cheese, a large dollop of gore and a hefty scoop of inflated, bouncy chests then this is for you. As a throw away 80 minutes of your life, it's fine. If you want any more than that, or you have an aversion to breasts, then I'd suggest that you give this a wide birth and go and see some more wholesome film. For me, this was pure, unadulterated, over the top cinema in a way that only a Hollywood B movie could capture. It's the mix of shitter than shit, the inclusion of once were famous Hollywood names, and the gloss of a studio picture that makes this a much watch for me. It's rare that a film like this gets a cinema release these days, which is why I'll keep going and watching the Piranha franchise as long as these films keep getting churned out.

The Avengers

So, finally after years of uncertainty, The Avengers has arrived - and arrived in style, it most definitely has. With Marvel Studios managing to get the rights to all of the principle characters, it was always just a matter of time before Captain America, Thor, Iron-Man and the Hulk came together under one roof. Throw The Black Widow and Hawkeye into the mix and you have a possible great film. The big question from most cynics, and even the biggest fans, was the old adage of whether too many cooks would indeed spoil the broth. I can happily say that all of the main players got a pretty equal amount of screen time and action sequences. Nobody was shown as the main attraction and each hero had their humanity exposed and their dirty laundry aired. It wasn't just a case of all the good guys getting together, clicking and saving the world - they don't always get on, they do fight with each other, they have to work at being a team.

Right from the opening scene you get a massive sense of action. The opening scene basically reintroduces Loki and from there on in there's a good old fashioned escape. The action moves that fast that I had actually forgotten that this was just the opening scene, the lead in to the opening credits. It was only when the credits hit that I realised it was just the opening scene. From there on out we slowly get reintroduced to all of the heroes one by one, with them being opted in to the as yet unnamed Avengers by Nick Fury.

"I've had it with these mortherfucking Avengers in my motherfucking film!"

The film has such a frantic pace that the time flies by. One minute you're seeing the Black Widow being held hostage and being interrogated by some criminals, then you're seeing Captain America trying to come to terms with the modern world. Or one minute you're seeing Bruce Banner trying to live the quiet life in Brazil, whilst Tony Stark is trying to have a romantic night in with Pepper Potts. Then when all the dust settles and all of the principle players are in a room together, then you have the ego clashes. And clash they do. Tony Stark has his sarcasm in full flow, which irks Captain America and Thor. Thor clashes with Cap as Thor wants to take Loki to Asgard to be punished for his crimes. Cap rips on Stark for only being out for himself. Stark stirs things up with how much information Nick Fury has but isn't making public. The Black Widow by nature never has the full trust of anyone. Hawkeye isn't around (let's just leave it at that). Then there's the volatile, possible explosion of Bruce Banner into the Hulk. There's the verbal sparring amongst the group and then there's moments where members of the team go head to head and fight each other. For spoiler purposes I'm not going to go into that in any more detail just yet. All I can say is that the fight sequences are brilliant. The tension between the characters is fantastically done, with each hero having a perfectly valid reason to back up the gripe they have. With the tension being so well done, it gives more importance to the situation when the team actually put their egos and opinions to one side and work together for the greater good.

The main antagonist, as touched upon, is Loki, brother of sorts of Thor. He's in control of an alien army, the Chitauri, as he looks to basically conquer the world. Obviously, in true comic book form, there's a lot more to it and let's just say he's got a partner in crime. Loki's set up early on as a very strong villain, a lot more so than in the Thor film, so much so that you actually feel that it would take the teaming up of Earth's mightiest heroes to stop him.

The film itself just has an epic feel to it, along the lines of a certain space opera at times. It feels that big. Everything is done perfectly, surprisingly so. I really did not expect to come out of this film with such a positive vibe. I thought that characters such as Hawkeye and Black Widow would be overlooked, but those two play as much of a part in the film and the climactic battle as Captain America and Iron Man. Similarly, I had reservations about the Hulk after his last two cinema outings. This is definitely the best incarnation of the Hulk. He's a lot more primal, almost ape like at times in his movement. There's also a lot more Hulk Smash - that's what we've all been waiting for years to see. The Hulk isn't shown for a large portion of the film, with the story being that Banner hasn't had an 'incident' in a year or so. If Nick Fury is to believed, Banner was brought into the group merely for his ability as one of the world's leading experts in the field of gamma rays. There's several funny scenes where Stark spends his time trying to get Banner to Hulk up, unsuccessfully. Speaking of funny scenes, there were several scenes where I was actually chuckling out loud in the cinema (I guess that'd be what the kids call a LOL). Most of these tend to involve Hulk in some form, including a great scene with Thor and also a nice "Hulk... Smash!" line from Cap.

Ho ho ho, Green Giant...

The film really shouldn't work in my head, not in this era. The idea of a team of superheroes running around in bright colours, saving the world from an alien race, just seems a bit 'out there' in the days when most people are accustomed to the grimey, real world feel of the last few Batman films. It does work though. It works very well. Sure, some of the dialogue may be cheesy at times to those unaware of the Marvel comics over the years, but that's in fitting with the books and the history. Marvel's famous for being a little cringeworthy with their dialogue at times. There's so much more that I want to say but I feel I can't at this time for fear of spoilers for people. It's not like the usual bog standard horror films that I've been watching lately, where spoilers are irrelevant as people will likely never see the films I've discussed. With The Avengers, I want as many people to go and see this with an open mind, so no spoilers from me. It's a great, great superhero film. Every character is played out brilliantly. Cap is all about integrity and leadership, Downey Jnr picks up exactly where he left off in terms of Stark's sarcastic hero, Thor's affinity to Earth is further elaborated on from his solo outing, Black Widow gets fleshed out a lot more than in Iron Man 2, Hawkeye is simply the master marksman who has a massive role to play in the film, and then there's Ruffalo's Bruce Banner/Hulk. In Ang Lee's Hulk I was a massive fan of Eric Bana in the role of Banner. Then it got even better for me with Ed Norton doing his best Bill Bixby impression in Leterrier's 2008 Hulk. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Ruffalo is better than both of the previous incarnations. He brings a mild sense of humour to Bruce Banner, as in he is now more at peace with himself and his situation. His relationship with Stark is great too, two scientists bantering with each other. Also, Scarlett Johansson is worth a big mention. I'm going to go out on another limb and say that I'm a massive fan of Scarlett. She's absolutely stunning. Simple. That said, this film is the absolute, clear cut most stunning she has ever looked on film. You just cannot take your eyes off her - that is if you're a hot blooded male with a thing for pouty women with curves in all the right places.

So yes, go and see the film. Now. I went on opening day, Thursday, and will be going again on Tuesday, possibly on Friday too. It just really blew me away. Is it the best superhero film ever? That's hard to say. On a first viewing, the gut reaction is it's up there. It all depends on how it plays upon multiple viewings. It's also worth noting that it's taken a ton of money at the box office so far and it hasn't even come out in North America yet. It hits North America on May 4th - my birthday - and it'll surely take another truck load of money over there.

Stop! ... Hammer Time!

A slight negative is no Ant Man or Wasp, two founding members of The Avengers, but that was expected going in. It's also a shame that Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are currently out of the reach of Marvel Studios due to their rights being with the X-Men franchise. You never know, I'm sure somewhere down the line they may make an appearance in a sequel, hopefully The Vision too. There's a nice nod to Avengers Tower at the end of the film, as well as a load of other subtle and not-so-subtle nods to suggest future films.

One last thing, as per all Marvel films, make sure to stick around for an after credits scene. You should know that by now though, right?



Also, one last, last thing... for all those with a love of Nick Fury, be sure to tick The Hoff 's version of Nick Fury off your bucket list.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

My latest foray to the cinema was to see the latest Ghost Rider outing. This was a little over a week ago, and I keep getting sidetracked when starting one of these here blog things. Anyways, here goes...

Firstly, as an actual comic book film the film works quite well. There's some greats shots where scenes mesh together, similar to how the panels of a comic book mesh together. It works. On the flip side of that, those going in to this without comic book blinkers on may just laugh in the face of all of the things that the film is trying to achieve. That said, surely somebody that makes the effort to go and watch this film must have the outlook of throwing logic out of the window. A film grounded in reality this is not, as is the case for a lot of the superhero flicks. This one really does embrace the comic book stylings though, similar in a way to X-Men: First Class. I'll tell you now though, it's not on the same level as First Class.

Burn Baby Burn... Disco Inferno!

For those of you who are unaware of the Ghost Rider character or the 2007 original starring Nic Cage, then here's a little history lesson for you. The Ghost Rider is Johnny Blaze, played in this film and the original by Nicolas Cage. He's a charismatic, daredevil (excuse the pun) motorcycle stuntman, performing death defying tricks and stunts in front of mass audiences, carefree and risking his life for the buzz of it all. Blaze's father becomes ill, severely ill as in knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door, and Johnny has the chance to save his father. This chance comes at a price - he has to make a deal with the Devil, literally. Satan approaches Blaze with a contract, basically his soul in order to save his father's life. Depending on which origin you read, Blaze ends up signing the contract with his blood one way or another. This essentially makes him the Devil's bitch. In the 2007 film the Devil later calls on Johnny and gives Blaze the power of the Ghost Rider in order to stop Satan's son, Wes Bentley, from overpowering daddy dearest. The whole origin of the Johnny Blaze version of Ghost Rider is recapped during the opening credits sequence for those that missed the first movie or have never picked up one of the books.

Now on to this movie. The main plot of the sequel is that a stunning lady is on the run with her young son. On the run from whom, you may ask? The Devil (dun dun dun). The Devil employs some, for lack of a better term, goons to do his dirty work and track down the woman and her boy. The Devil wishes to channel his spirit through the boy and take over the earth. Simple, usual comic book fodder then. Idris Elba pops up as someone who is protecting the boy, and he tracks down a bedraggled Johnny Blaze in order to persuade him to use the power of the Ghost Rider to help the woman and child. If the Rider helps in this task then Idris will take him to some monks and show him how to rid himself of the Ghost Rider spirit once and for all. I should probably mention at this point that Johnny Blaze has now isolated himself in the hills of 'Eastern Europe'. Yep, no specific country, it's just referenced as 'Eastern Europe'. Blaze sees the power of the Rider as his curse as he cannot control it. The Rider punishes anyone that has ever performed an evil act, so Blaze is worried that the Rider crosses lines that he doesn't want to cross. On a side note, I so wish that the Ghost Rider could be unleashed on Michael Bay. For those of you who are unaware, Michael Bay and his Anchor Bay studio are rehashing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in to another live action film. I've just read an article that he now plans to change the Turtles origins to that of an alien kind. Yep, the Turtles came from outer space. Fucking ridiculous! Surely the key's in the title... Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles. They're mutants, not Teenage ALIEN Ninja Fucking Turtles. Dick.

Anyways, a quick deep breath and back to Ghost Rider we go.

The plot is fine for what it is. Ghost Rider can often come with a lot of religious undertones at times, but that's to be expected given the nature of how Blaze gets given his 'gift'. It goes without saying that he decides to help rescue the woman and child, looking to put an end to the Devil's task and also removing his own curse in the process. There's a heavy hint of Terminator 2 in the film, as Blaze strikes up a relationship with the child in question much similar to that of the leather clad motorcycle enthusiast and the smart, wise-ass boy in T2. The female lead is a lot more to look at than Linda Hamilton though. That said, there is something about Linda Hamilton in T2.

Heeeeere's Johnny!

So what about the other bits and bobs? Well, the acting isn't the best. Nicolas Cage spends half of the film feeling sorry for himself and the other half completely hamming it up to a new degree of crazy. There's 2 scenes in particular that come to mind when one thinks of the Nic Cage craziness. Firstly, there's a random cut scene that shows a Blaze/Rider hybrid speeding through tunnels on his bike (as illustrated above). This is a little unnerving and the placing of it in the movie is questionable. The second instance of Nic overacting as only Nic can is when he visits the monks in order to remove the Rider curse from himself. It's hard to take seriously as it's just basically Cage rolling around on the floor, laughing (supposedly maniacally) to himself and making whoop whoop noises. The rest of the cast are fine, although Ciaran Hinds, replacing Peter Fonda as the Devil, is shockingly bad. There's a plot piece that explains that his face is supposed to look weak due to him being in human form, but the guy just has no presence. He's supposed to be playing the biggest and baddest big bad there is, the Devil. For my money Satan in South Park: The Movie is more intimidating, and that's including when he's being made into Saddam's bitch.

The pace of the film is good, progressive and generally consistent. As I've mentioned, there's some nice meshing of scenes to give a comic book vibe to the film, as well as a vast improvement on the effects of the previous film. The CGI in the first film was fine, but nothing more than fine. There were parts, as with most CGI heavy films, where the effects looked ropey to say the least. In this film that seems to be rectified, especially on the actual Rider himself. The skull looks a lot more impressive and not too blatantly created on a computer. The practical effects on Decay, Satan's main handyman, are a nice touch too. The only thing that still gripes me about the Rider is the scenes in which you see his hands and fingers. I know that he's technically a skeleton of sorts, but the thin fingers and clear bone structure just look ridiculous and I can't help but think of the waiter from Scary Movie 2.

"Take my good hand"

All in all, as a comic book movie, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is fine by me. The first film felt a bit flat and a bit too simple in the way that the Rider just plowed through everyone in his sight. There are similar moments in this, but a few of his flaws are exposed a bit more, plus the internal angst felt by Blaze is highlighted well. There's a nice tone to the scenes where he is wallowing in isolation, away from loved ones. It's just a shame that the 'crazy' scenes are too over the top to be taken seriously and Satan himself has zero screen presence, charisma or appeal. On, and as for the 3D... it literally was unnoticeable - simply no need.